GH Review-Condemned 2: Bloodshot

I recently reviewed the original Condemned and though it had some technical issues it was a pretty great game. And as with all pretty great games the inevitable sequel has landed on store shelves. So being the mindless sequel munching drone that I am I picked up a copy to get back down to the business of beating down thugs, bums and various other ne’er-do-well types. I figured that since the original was essentially a good game that any dev team worth it’s salt would make the follow-up even better right? Right. Well almost right. Well…ok so it seems they got off track somewhere just between Batshitcrazyburg and Frustrationville.

I was pretty psyched to play this game since I like the first so much but pretty much right off the bat I could tell I was in for quite a different experience. The simple melee controls from the first game were pretty much thrown out the window for a “deeper” (devspeak for more complicated) interface which I’ll be honest, I didn’t even use. You still have the problem of being basically unable to play this title during the day unless you live in a cave (fuck you Osama) or a fallout shelter (mmm… Fallout…) since the game is so freakin’ dark. I guess that adds to the “horror” aspect of the game but to me it’s just annoying. Who wants to have to turn the bright up on their tv to max just to play a game? Weak.

The graphics were also hit or miss with me. The original was one of the first 360 games released so a certain amount of slack was given in the graphics department, but this is now 2008 and the dev team has had plenty of time to fix this. Don’t get me wrong, the character animations look pretty good and Ethan Thomas, the main dude, looks downright spooky, but the environments were somewhat derivative of Half-Life and Silent Hill.

The story picks up almost a year after the end of Condemned: Criminal Origins and takes off pretty quick with the action and tension. I was really getting into it until around the last third of the game where the story took it’s big detour to the aforementioned Batshitcrazyburg. I don’t know if the writers did this on purpose or if they were under a deadline and had to rush this one out, but wow. I like to think they were held hostage by the nefarious Weakplot pirate-ninja clan and forced to finish out the story with the lamest addition of unnecessary superpowers in gaming history. Weak. Then you have the obligatory setup for the third (and hopefully final) installment of the series. You know it’s coming.

They even tried to up the replayability of the game by adding online multiplayer but this seemed like an afterthought that was tacked on at the last minute. The idea of the game is survival-horror, it doesn’t really lend itself to multiplayer in the first place, but since the combat in the game is mostly melee anyway, online deathmatches always degenerate into players chasing each other with sticks or pipes and bashing each other. And that’s only if you get lucky enough to find someone else to play with online. Boooo-ring.

I guess I was ruined by the goodness that was Condemned: Criminal Origins because I just couldn’t find a whole lot to like about it’s successor. Condemned 2: Bloodshot is inferior in just about every way. They moved away from the things that made the original so good and replaced it with a hastily polished turd sprinkled with glitter. Pass.

Gamer Hero Score: 4/10

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